You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
