He had some BAD nuttage
It's like cleavage......... but different
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"