just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
