your room smells of hookers.
And success
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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