How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
