i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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