have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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