i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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