I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
