so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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