Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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