Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
