Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
