Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
