her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
