If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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