dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
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