the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
