Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize