this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize