Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.