That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.