I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
