Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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