your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
