Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
