We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Just invented taco cereal.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
