You're so nebulous sometimes
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
