he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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