the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
