Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
