Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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