we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
