I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
