Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
