I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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