first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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