"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
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Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
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And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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