Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
