Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
