in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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