I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
