plz talk dirty to me
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize