Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
