It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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