Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
this will be a night to untag.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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