I just saw a hot homeless man
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
