Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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