you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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