i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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