i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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