And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
