I love having hate sex.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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