no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
