can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
