It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
This is the high leading the old right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize