I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
you win again, gameday.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
