I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
You need a sexual gate keeper
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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