Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Randomize
