I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
