no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
