He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
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You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
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I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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