just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
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