Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
