it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I think your dad took our porno
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
do nipples grow back?
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