Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I want you more than these girls want KFC
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
