This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize