sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
