I CAN MOONWALK!
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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