I wish I could punch you in the face.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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