He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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