I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
